DISCLOSING A HIDDEN DISABILITY TO CLASSMATES

Do you have a student in your class with a disability that the other students don’t understand? Does the student with the disability have difficulty forming friendships with classmates or working with them as a result? You might be thinking, If only the other children understood why this child acts so differently! Then they would be much more accepting! And you may be right!

Many, if not most, of the disabilities that schoolchildren have are hidden disabilities. Hidden disabilities include any disabilities that cannot be spotted in a still picture of the child. A few examples of hidden disabilities include the following:

• ADHD
• Autism spectrum disorder
• Language disorder
• Sensory processing disorder
• Dyslexia
• Dyscalculia
• Dysgraphia
• Other learning disabilities
• Traumatic brain injury

When elementary school children are having difficulty relating to a child with a hidden disability, I find that it often helps to explain the child’s disability to their classmates. This helps the other children become more empathetic and understanding, and often leads to greater acceptance of the classmate with the disability. But disclosing the child’s disability to the other classmates must be done with extreme caution. Here are some rules to follow:

1. Get parental consent! 

This rule cannot be overstated—do not violate the child’s right to confidentiality! If you think it might be helpful to the child to disclose their disability to classmates, have a face-to-face conference with the child’s parent(s) to weigh the pros and cons. Remember, once the information is disclosed, it cannot be taken back! If the parent(s) agree that the pros of disclosure outweigh the cons, obtain written consent to disclose the information to the class.

2. Get the child’s consent!

Even though the parents have the responsibility of making legal decisions for a child, I would never disclose a child’s disability to classmates without the child being on-board with that decision. Again, disclosure cannot be undone; the child will need to live with it for a long time. Some children do not truly understand their disabilities themselves, or they may feel uncomfortable telling classmates, and I would respect that. However, other children, who already know the reasons they are struggling, feel a great sense of relief when they can tell their friends and gain their understanding.

3. Work with the child and parents to answer important questions.

• Who will explain the disability to the class: the teacher, the parent(s), a guest speaker, or a combination of these? 
• Will the parent(s) be in the room, and will they be open to answering questions from the students? 
• Will the child with the disability be in the room, and will that child be open to answering questions?
• I’ve seen successful presentations done with various combinations of answers to these questions; each situation is unique. The most important thing is to discuss these questions in advance.

4. What will and will not be disclosed?

Whoever is preparing the presentation should make sure that parents and teacher know ahead of time what will be presented. The teacher needs to evaluate whether the information disclosed will be developmentally appropriate for the child’s classmates. The parents need to evaluate whether they are comfortable with the level of disclosure planned. Discuss this in detail in advance to avoid any difficult surprises.

One more note: I am much more cautious about sharing information on emotional/behavioral disabilities with classmates. In fact, I have never advocated for telling classmates about trauma histories, depression, anxiety disorders, and the like. I feel that a student with such challenges should have the right to disclose information for themselves when they are older (such as high school age) and more able to make an informed decision about the disclosure for themselves.

I’ve often seen great benefits in relationships with classmates after the disclosure of a hidden disability to those classmates. Disclosure can also offer an excellent opportunity to educate other children about disabilities and disability etiquette and even prevent ableist attitudes in the future. But it is not a decision to take lightly. Open communication about all of the above points can make all the difference in the outcome!